What a Backcountry Mishap Taught Me about Decision Making, ADHD and Emotional Regulation
from @jkovac
It was slowly becoming apparent to me that the situation was worse than I thought. My fingers were numb from the cold and everything I was trying was not helping to warm them. I was out on the Long Trail in Vermont in the middle of winter snowshoeing with a group of friends on a course that traversed three high peaks through deep snow and colder than expected temperatures. I was not an experienced snowshoer but I was relatively fit, comfortable in the back country and I was with a good group of people with back country and snowshoeing experience. Upon hindsight, I was not aware of the predicament I was in at the time. I was focused on the most pressing, most apparent challenge - the cold fingers - but unaware that my core temperature was also starting to drop.
What does this backcountry mishap have to do with ADHD and emotional regulation? Most mishaps and accidents in the woods are a culmination of several choices and events that often go unnoticed or where the true consequences are not felt until it is too late.Those of us with ADHD can miss subtle but key warning signs or indicators and quickly find ourselves in an emotional situation that becomes difficult to navigate - often resulting in the flooding aspect of emotional dysregulation. Much is shared about emotional regulation, forgetfulness and time blindness when it comes to ADHD but little is discussed when it comes to decision-making and managing risk and reward. ADHD impacts our ability to assess both the consequences and the benefits of the choices we make through our day. Part of the challenge is an inability to see and read subtle emotional cues in the face of stronger emotions or in the absence of emotions like the feeling of ambivalence or boredom.
With practice and experience, though, we can start to pay attention to these more subtle emotional cues and start to strategically place them like road signs informing us of both potential challenges and opportunities that may lie ahead. Back on the trail, my big signal was the fact that I couldn’t feel my fingers. This was drawing attention away from more subtle clues that my core temperature was starting to drop. I was annoyed by the inconvenience of frozen fingers, irritated that I was slowing the others down. My current emotional state was not helping me solve my very real dilemma because my emotional state was blocking my view of that very real dilemma. It was actually one of my good friends who first alerted me to the gravity of my situation. Fortunately, my backcountry story had a positive ending when the focus of the outing shifted to supporting my pressing physiological needs - to get me warm and dry.
Just as you can learn how to spot potential hazards out on the trail before they become a major challenge, you can also learn to spot potential dilemmas or hazards navigating your work day with ADHD.
Assume an expedition mindset - think about what you are trying to accomplish and what you may run into along the way both positive and negative. Practice anticipating different outcomes to help lessen the ADHD habit of locking into one specific picture of success.
Don’t go it alone - I would have been in real trouble if I was by myself out on the trail struggling through 3 feet of snow. It helped that a few of us were experienced outdoor educators and were well aware of hypothermia warning signs to pay attention to. Assemble a qualified team, even a remote team, to check in with. Empower the team to give real and accurate feedback of metrics that matter. Balance concerns with opportunities.
Clue into your emotional state - my annoyance was clouding my judgment on the trail. Our frustration with ourselves or someone else can block more subtle emotional cues like lack of trust or even resentment.
Watch out for Auto-Pilot Mode - APM is where we can put our plans and emotions on a “set it and forget it” setting and then be surprised when things go sideways. Emotional Auto-Pilot is further illustrated in an episode of the Translating ADHD podcast.
Develop a mini reflective practice - What am I feeling? Is it helping me achieve my goal right now? What might I be missing, avoiding or downplaying? Could my current irritation or impatience be blocking me in some way? If I remove the current feeling, step away from it for a moment, what am I left with? When we gain distance from these ‘annoying, irritated, impatient’ feelings we can start to develop a richer narrative and deeper sense of our motivations and intent and the forces we are up against.
Finally, consider using a process or program for exploring the role of emotions in motivation and decision-making like Susan David’s Emotional Agility or Danial Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence. My Equanimity Group Coaching class is an excellent way to see emotional ‘road signs’ sooner. We utilize concepts of the Positive Intelligence program through the lens of ADHD and making better, more informed decisions.